last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
