Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
