I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
