I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
