We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
