Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
