high people should be assigned attendants
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
