Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
