I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I just found a bag of teeth...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
