Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
