im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
