I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
