my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
40s are totally the cure
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
