I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
