i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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