i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
