Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
