That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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