I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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