I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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