well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
