My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
