i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
