so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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