how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Rumble strips road head = magical
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
