all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
