gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Randomize
