You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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