Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
