About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
