My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
