We need to rekindle our bromance
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
