This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
