They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I need moral support for this bender
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
