you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
