yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
