so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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