Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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