You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm lost and stupid without you.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
they're like a gay fantastic four
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize