I'm going to jail i love you
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
