I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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