its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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