I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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