i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
