ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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