I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
