I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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