Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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