Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
