This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
But we have bathrooms and they dont
The ass gains better be worth it
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