the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize