you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
