I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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