this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize