I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
