grandma shit on top of the toilet
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
