Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
