she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just cropdusted the office
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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