you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
