What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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