this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
