Someone shit on the floor
they need to just BURY HIM!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
