You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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