i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
