Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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