Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
