I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
