google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
