R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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