i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
