he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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