I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize