are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
