Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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