This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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