I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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