I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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