Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize