watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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