I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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