Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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