I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize